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Move over cinnamon kick—there’s a new Fireball flavor on the field, and it’s stirred with something a little extra... heartbreak. Fireball has just launched Crierball, a limited-edition whiskey that’s infused with actual tears from football fans across the nation. Yes, real tears. It’s the whiskey you didn’t know you needed, a bizarre blend of cinnamon spice and salty, post-game disappointment.
Whether this twist makes you laugh, cringe, or double-take, you’re not alone. The concept feels like it could only come from the imagination of the beverage world’s most daring creatives. Sazerac, the company behind Fireball, has thrown a Hail Mary with this one, capturing the raw emotions of die-hard fans and bottling them for a taste that’s as close to “bittersweet” as it gets. And the name? Crierball. Because when your team fumbles on the five-yard line, sometimes all you can do is cry—and now, drink to that.
How Do You Bottle Tears, Anyway?
According to Sazerac’s press release, collecting these tears is no joke. Every tear is harvested with care (and probably a lot of tissues) from fans post-loss and meticulously stored in sealed jars. From there, they’re transported to a secure facility for sterilization and processing. Months later, these unique saline drops are blended into whiskey to create what might be the world’s first tear-infused spirit. It’s a tongue-in-cheek tribute to all those season-ending fumbles, heartbreak losses, and near misses that keep us coming back for more.
And it’s not just an online gimmick! Crierball will be sold in limited quantities next fall, ready for you to raise a glass to all the agony and ecstasy of the game. Picture yourself sipping this new blend while reflecting on the highs and lows of the season—like a bitter hug in a bottle for every fan whose heart has been left on the field.
Are Other Sports Next?
With all the tear-stained fan gear left from the MLB, NBA, and beyond, there’s certainly no shortage of untapped potential here. The idea of expanding the tear-infused whiskey to other sports seems like the logical next step. Baseball fans from New York, especially after a brutal 2024 season, could easily provide a season’s worth of tears alone. Perhaps Sazerac has stumbled on a niche market here: tear-infused whiskey, one sport at a time.
For now, Crierball’s distribution will be limited to tents outside stadiums throughout November, where die-hard fans can share their emotions in the form of literal liquid heartbreak. So if your team doesn’t pull through this season, don’t just walk away in frustration—donate a tear, grab a bottle, and sip to the sting of the game. After all, misery might just taste better with a twist of cinnamon and a splash of salty tears. Cheers to the highs, lows, and now, Crierball.
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